So the Sharks had a hell of a week. Blanking the Blackhawks, failing and then nearly outlasting the Flames in a shootout, and absolute domination of the Desert Dogs, who only managed 1 shot in the 3rd period of their game Saturday.
But I’ve come to the realization that I’m selfish, so this week’s write up will be all about me and the cool times I’ve had. I expect the past few days to be made into a movie that’ll be bundled as a double feature with “The Untitled John Scott Movie” and blow the doors off the domestic box office record (Suck my dick, Disney).
What you are about to watch is an accurate depiction of real events. Out of respect for those who survived the ordeal, the names and locations have not been altered.
Viewer’s discretion is advised.
EXT: SAP Center-Night
INT: SAP Center
A hockey game is being played between the Sharks and Calgary Flames. It’s a Thursday night. We cut to the broadcast feed of the home team and find two men in suits casually watching the game; what they are discussion is unknown:
Their presence, now known to only a handful of people who watch the broadcast feed, yields a top secret mission. A mission which could decide the fate of a transmission of yet unknown importance:
The meeting place had been determined. What would happen now? Unsure of the nature of their mission, the suited men issued a warning:
What awaited them at the rendezvous? Only God knew.
CROSS DISSOLVE TO:
INT: SAP Center-A few days later
Our suited heroes now number 4. Hoping to move through the building undetected, they warn their enemies of what will come:
After grabbing several rounds of liquid courage, our heroes ventured deep undercover, only to be stopped by uncountable numbers of random strangers asking for pictures. [Like, seriously, I think we took a good dozen or so before the game even started.] Their cover now blown, they could only hope that they could make it to the meeting place in time.
But lo! There are two entrances to section 110. And only 1 minute until 1900 Hours. How could they possibly make it in time? A bright light flashes, illuminating a previously hidden location. They spot their target with mere seconds prior to transmission. Locking eyes, the contact gives them signals to indicate when to initiate the strike plan they had crafted only minutes before. And strike they did. [The government is still tracking down footage of this event. We can re-shoot this once the funding comes through]:
As the Great Doc Emrick would say: “What Chaos!”
And indeed, it was chaos the likes of which we may never see again.
FADE TO BLACK