Sharks took out the Bruins and Rangers, chasing King Henrik from the net. However, they split games against the Coyotes and lost a game in the middle of the week on pure, unadulterated bullshit that came in the form of 2 disallowed goals. The first was for an offside that occurred, I shit you not, literally 50 seconds before the goal was scored; the second came from Chris Tierney sliding into the area in front of the net and the puck happened to bounce off of him. In addition, defenseman Marc-Edouard Vlasic is day-to-day and forward Matt Nieto is out 3-4 weeks with a broken hand.
I've come to the conclusion that the War Room in Toronto, the refs, and the Coyotes can all suck my ass.
Another week, another example of how much better California is at hockey than Western (really, all of) Canada and Arizona. The Sharks, Kings, and Ducks continue to school the rest of the Pacific Division and even some of the best teams in the Eastern Conference. The Sharks extinguished the Flames 2-1 on Tuesday. The next night they swung over to Edmonton and pumped the Oilers dry (phrasing) for a 3-0 win. Before the game ended, there was this crap in garbage time late in the 3rd period:
If I’m honest I’m not sure 3 games is enough for something as reckless and savage as that, but maybe it was just the NHL Wheel of Justice dishing out the punishment.
Beating good teams and losing to bad teams isn’t a new phenomenon, nor is it unique to the Sharks, but it does seem to happen more often than not. Add in a backup goalie and you’re basically guaranteed to get a shutout win against the Sharks. This is what happened Thursday in a 0-3 loss against the New Jersey Devils that could easily be considered one of the worst all-around performances of the year. While not deflecting blame for the poor performance, Coach Peter DeBoer did note that the ice sucked:
#SJSharks DeBoer speaks bluntly about ice conditions at the Tank: "fix the ice"
You know, maybe having an AHL team play on the same ice as the pro team wasn’t the greatest idea. Too much action on the ice resulted in a sheet that players were losing edges and fighting against bad puck bounces. The Sharks’ current offensive philosophy relies on a lot of quick passes and short cycles, so when you look at the Sharks’ record at home one could make the argument that they haven’t played well due to the ice fighting against their playing style.
But on Saturday night against the Washington Capitals we saw a completely different team. Whether the ice was fixed or someone light a fire under their asses doesn’t matter. The Sharks looked like contenders again when they faced off against the best team in the NHL. The 1st period was a barnstormer, with both offenses creating fantastic scoring opportunities and every player on the ice being incredibly physical. Though the physicality waned in the other two periods, the game was full of offensive opportunities. I know I am biased, but I would love to see a Caps/Sharks Final based off of the 60 minutes we got on Saturday. That and the fact that the Sharks owned the Capitals in the 3rd period; a period where the Capitals have dominated all season long. The game ended 5-2 and the Sharks now look ahead to the final 4 weeks of the season.
Keeping my expectations low so I don't get hurt again. #SJSharks
P.P.S. Vote brigade that goal song poll all you want. The Front Office is fully aware of what’s going on. Which means no one’s votes matter anyway and they’ll pick the LMFAO song because that’s just how these things go when you actually give a shit.
Next week the Sharks will see Boston in San Jose, the #DesertDogs in the land that is irresponsible with their Daylight Savings, and then head back home for a back-to-back with the Rangers and Coyotes.
The Sharks have continued doing what they’ve been doing this year: Winning on the road and losing at home. While they did blow up the Canadiens 6-2 on Monday and won the 2nd of 3 games against the Canucks this week 3-2 in Vancouver, the Sharks dropped the rematch Saturday in San Jose. Like I’ve said before, this team is fine when playing on the road. And their league-leading 23 wins in road games backs that up. Unfortunately, there are only 4 road
games left in the month of March.
But at least the front office is trying to find ways to create home ice advantage again:
Have the skills to play the keys as a hockey organist? Bring your talents to the Tank!
In other totally expected news, Joe Thornton, Joe Pavelski, and Brent Burns continue to tear up the stat sheets. The lower lines are doing their part, though not always at the same time or when it’s most critically needed. Consistency from all 4 lines and 3 D pairs is going to be absolutely critical in this final month. Coach Peter DeBoer continues to juggle the lines to find the optimum configuration for this team, but the reality is that those three main guys account for 180 of 508 individual points (35%) recorded by Sharks’ players. It’s great that Jumbo, Pavs, and Burnsie keep rolling but if the depth scoring only shows up when it wants to, this team will not get very far in a playoff environment.
Fashion Round Up:
Did you see the World Cup of Hockey jerseys? If not, here they are.
And now the Pacific War Room Fashion Blog Hottakes:
Winners: Canada, Sweden, Russia
Meh: Czech Republic
Losers: USA, Finland
Fucking Kill Yourself: North America, Europe
As always, Canada, Tre Kronor, and The Red Machine have sweet threads. The Czech is basic, but not horrible. The US whites are pretty ok, but the home jersey shield just plain sucks. In the Finnish jersey, nothing flows together at all and I don’t see the Nordic Cross represented in any sense.
The North American jersey logo looks like an anarchist group bent on cutting James Bond in half with a really slow moving laser and the color scheme reflects nothing about North America. The two-tone European jersey is another atrocity and forcing a hockey stick in the logo is “EA ‘My Custom Team’ generic logo” bad.
Last week, I called Alex Stalock and Mike Brown “waste[s] of space” and “utterly fucking useless.” And Doug Wilson listened. Seriously, I think Dougie reads this, so…I told you so. On Monday, the Sharks traded away Raffi Torres and 2 2nd round picks (2017 & 2018) to the Toronto Perpetual Sadnesses for D Roman Polak and F Nick Spaling, who would later score on his first shot with the Sharks. The Sharks got another defenseman to shore up their rotation, a forward to fill out the bottom line. They also got a master of banter:
Polak on going to a winning team: "It’s always nice to play a game that actually means something." #Leafs#Sharks
And we’ll need the shade because it’s been in the mid-70s all week in the South Bay.
This trade also rid us of the worst player in Sharks history:
In 4 seasons, Raffi Torres played in 16 games. That’s including not playing at all this season or last season. He was suspended for 47 total games. The rest of the time, he was on IR. Raffi Torres was an absolute waste of money. Of air. A horrible excuse for a hockey player. Luckily, we found someone dumb enou….savvy enough to turn his career around. He’ll start that turn around by making himself inactive for the rest of this season:
Raffi Torres: "I have made the decision that I will not be playing professional hockey for the remainder of the season."
But we weren’t done. Oh no. Wilson had another deal up his sleeve. G James Reimer and F Jeremy Morin from Toronto (again) for G Alex Stalock, F Ben Smith, and a 4th (2018) that could become a 3rd should the Sharks make the Cup Finals. More importantly:
Alex. Stalock. Is. Gone.
It’s got me feeling a lot like Jumbo after his performance against the Blues on Monday:
So I’m going to post this one last time, because it’s the last time I can use it:
If you’ve read my blurb before, you know I hate Alex Stalock. If you’ve seen him play, you know you hate Alex Stalock. He’s gone and now we have a solid back up to give Martin Jones some rest heading down the stretch into the playoffs. Additionally, we get another Bottom-6 forward to push Mike “Dead Weight” Brown* further out of the picture. In this trade, the Sharks didn’t give much up, as we didn’t want Stalock, Smith was sort of forgotten (though a solid 4th liner when needed), and only one draft pick. Huge win for San Jose on this trade.
Combining both trades together makes it look like Doug Wilson has his magic GM touch back. The first trade was a little heavy on the picks given away, but getting Reimer and Polak for 2 second rounders and clearing deadweight is pretty solid.
Reimer won’t be in for a while, so Aaron Dell, a development goalie who I mentioned last week, will be filling in until Reimer is able to join the Sharks. I’m pumped, because now we’ll have the self-proclaimed “World’s Okayest Goalie” on our bench:
It’s clear that the “rebuild” that was previously talked about is over and the Sharks are committed to winning now.
It’ll be an uphill battle to finish out this season. 21 games remain, 14 of which are at home. The Sharks are getting better at home, but are still 11-13-3. However, they have the most road wins in the league with 22. If San Jose can be close to perfect in their last 7 road games, they may be able to cover any point losses from the home games until they fix whatever juju is preventing them from being dominant at home like in years past.
Oh, I almost forgot about the dumb way the NHL scheduled the Sharks’ season. In their final 22 games, they play the Canucks 5 times with 2 sets of home and homes. They play 3 times this week alone. They also play the Coyotes 3 times in this final month. Currently, the Canucks and Coyotes are 12 points behind the Sharks in 4th and 5th place, respectively. If the Sharks can take out the Canucks and Coyotes in those 8 games, they can secure at least 3rd in the Pacific and try to mount a late season charge to the top 2 spots. Each of those games are really worth 4 point swings in the standings, so it’s imperative the Sharks take care of business. With no Stalock to Stalock things in the 3 remaining back-to-backs, the playoff forecast is looking better and better for this Sharks team and the added rest should only improve Jones’ effectiveness in these final games.
4 points behind the Ducks, 6 behind the Kings.
Let’s go.
***EDIT: As I begin to write this at 9AM PST Sunday: Stalock has been placed on waivers by TOR. Mike Brown has been placed on waivers by SJ. I am a Nostradamus of bad hockey players.***
This is weird. I’ve never been down this far on the page before. But, the Ducks have been surging, which is disgusting. We’re gaining on the Kings and putting distance on 4th place in the division so it’s not all bad. Plus, we still have games in hand on the teams from Smog City, so it’s really a fake third place.
But falling out of second place has made me reevaluate my life. Maybe things haven’t been as doom and gloom as I’ve made them out to be so far. Yeah, the beginning of the season started rough, but since the New Year, the Sharks are 13-5-3. That’s a 70% point attainment rate (PAR) [pronounced: par]. In this time, only two of the losses have been back to back, and the Sharks did enjoy a 5 game winning streak. In this time, 3 big things have become apparent:
1. The Sharks Power Play has been spectacular so far. A recent dip has seen them drop to 5th in the league, but for much of this season, they’ve been the #2 PP (Power Play) [pronounced powr plae]. The Sharks have taken advantage of this surge in offensive production and sit 4th in GPG (goals per game) [pronounced: goels pur gaym] with 2.89. 41 of their 165 goals have come with a man advantage, good for 25% of their offensive total. To continue to succeed, the Sharks need this kind of production on special teams. Martin Jones can bail them out on the back end with his 2.33 GAA (goals against average) [pronounced: goels agenst avurej]. But this leads me to the second point:
2. Alex Stalock is a waste of space. It’s no secret that Peter DeBoer won’t play you if you don’t earn it, just ask Mike Brown (More on that in a bit). Stalock has taken his benching pretty hard, as evidenced by his most recent Tumblr posts:
sometimes the ppl closest 2 u hurt u the mostjust 1 of thz days…#foreverbenched
Stalock’s last 2 starts have resulted in 3 and 5 goals against on 17 and 22 total shots, with save percentages (SV%) [pronounced: saav pursentuhjez] of 0.824 and 0.773. 8 goals on 39 shots. That’s bad. Which is why Martin Jones now starts in back-to-backs. Unfortunately, we can’t charge the losses Jones gets on the second straight game to Stalock, but Stalock deserves them.
It’s clear that Stalock is not a solution as a back up and the Sharks have two decent goaltenders in Troy Grosenick and Aaron Dell, of which Dell has put up the better numbers, despite less wins, with the Barracuda. We can’t expect Jones to play every single back-to-back, but we also can’t throw away games with Stalock as a starter. Someone needs to make a move, because sitting with dead weight is a major drag.
3. Speaking of dead weight: Mike Brown.
He doesn’t get playing time for 9 games as a healthy scratch, takes 4 minutes of penalties on 9:07 TOI (Time On Ice) [pronounced: tym on i-ss]. Such a productive member of this team. His 4 games before that? 6:11, 3:18, 6:04, 5:00 TOI. He does nothing. He averages 1.5 PIM (Penalties In Minutes) [pronounced: peniltees en minuhts] on 7:12 average TOI. 1.5 PIM. Almost a full penalty per game for 11 shifts of work. Not worth it at all. Which is why PDB has been so hesitant to use him. But instead of rolling 11 forwards around, how about we get a productive member of hockey society to fill the void of the 4th line. Maybe someone who can snipe. In an elite manner. I dream of better days…
Sharks have the Blues, Avalanche, and Sabres this week.
So the Sharks had a hell of a week. Blanking the Blackhawks, failing and then nearly outlasting the Flames in a shootout, and absolute domination of the Desert Dogs, who only managed 1 shot in the 3rd period of their game Saturday.
But I’ve come to the realization that I’m selfish, so this week’s write up will be all about me and the cool times I’ve had. I expect the past few days to be made into a movie that’ll be bundled as a double feature with “The Untitled John Scott Movie” and blow the doors off the domestic box office record (Suck my dick, Disney).
TITLE CARD:
What you are about to watch is an accurate depiction of real events. Out of respect for those who survived the ordeal, the names and locations have not been altered.
Viewer’s discretion is advised.
FADE IN:
EXT: SAP Center-Night
CUT TO:
INT: SAP Center
A hockey game is being played between the Sharks and Calgary Flames. It’s a Thursday night. We cut to the broadcast feed of the home team and find two men in suits casually watching the game; what they are discussion is unknown:
Their presence, now known to only a handful of people who watch the broadcast feed, yields a top secret mission. A mission which could decide the fate of a transmission of yet unknown importance:
The meeting place had been determined. What would happen now? Unsure of the nature of their mission, the suited men issued a warning:
After grabbing several rounds of liquid courage, our heroes ventured deep undercover, only to be stopped by uncountable numbers of random strangers asking for pictures. [Like, seriously, I think we took a good dozen or so before the game even started.] Their cover now blown, they could only hope that they could make it to the meeting place in time.
To all our loyal fan: Be sure to watch Sharks Pregame Live tomorrow (Saturday) on CSN California at 7PM. Might be some cool happenings…
But lo! There are two entrances to section 110. And only 1 minute until 1900 Hours. How could they possibly make it in time? A bright light flashes, illuminating a previously hidden location. They spot their target with mere seconds prior to transmission. Locking eyes, the contact gives them signals to indicate when to initiate the strike plan they had crafted only minutes before. And strike they did. [The government is still tracking down footage of this event. We can re-shoot this once the funding comes through]:
As the Great Doc Emrick would say: “What Chaos!”
And indeed, it was chaos the likes of which we may never see again.
FACT: #SJSharks are undefeated when we appear on the pregame show. Also, @ArizonaCoyotes, I told you so.
Since this has been going for a few weeks now, I’m starting to get some really good feedback about this whole blogging thing. It’s been helpful and constructive with comments like, “Wow, you fucking suck.” Or, “You’re not funny.” Or, “Gutless.” So taking all of my mom’s critiques into account, I’m going full bore into the numbers game this week. You think I was dry and uninspiring before? Well suck on this week’s write up in video form:
It’s been such a long time since I’ve seen that logo and the number 1 paired together:
That’s right, we’re number 1. Of course, SI.com is heavy on recency bias, so really, they’re just saying we had the best Last 10 during that ranking period. Which we did. Up until this week.
More accurately, out of all water-themed teams in the NHL, the Sharks currently sit in 3rd:
More numbers: The Sharks are 4th in the NHL in Points per 60 Minutes. Which means we pass the puck around a lot instead of skating it in, because we’re averaging 4.83 Assists/60 minutes on 2.85 Goals/60 minutes. Or something.
Speaking of assists, Mr. Joe Thornton is closing in on some pretty historic stuff as long as he stops scoring goals ( 2 goals in the last 2 games):
Anyway, let’s get even more advanced with our statistics because I accidentally clicked on those instead of the “Close Window” button.
Looking at SPSv% (Save percentage + shot conversion into goals. The average should be at 100.0%, represented as 1000 on nhl.com/stats/), you find some things that are pretty obvious when looking at the Sharks’ bottom lines. Guys like Tommy Wingels, Chris Tierney, and Matt Nieto are sitting at 941, 957, and 961, respectively. Which means that they are effectively producing negatively for the Sharks. Goals are being scored on them at a faster rate than they can score. While this looks a lot like the +/- category, the important thing to note here is the focus on percentages, which does a much better job of describing the on-ice play and production than a raw numbers results system like +/-.
Surprisingly, Patrick Marleau is not far off from our lower level forwards and sits at an SPSv% of 966. However, when the Sharks are behind and Marleau is on the ice, the Sharks do have a majority (53.75%) of all shots taken during the game under those parameters. Given that Marleau is sitting at a -17 in point production and is at a -34 in Team Shot Attempts over the course of the season (despite being included in those shot-dominant late-game “Hero” lines and Power Play units), it’s pretty obvious that most of his time during 5 on 5 is being spent in the defensive third of the ice.
Which lead me to a philosophical question: Is it still considered a slump if a player’s defensive responsibilities diminish his capacity to score goals? Is it really one guy’s fault if he’s left with nothing to work with? Now I get that most of the numbers don’t mean anything if the production isn’t there, since there are a lot of factors to consider. In fact, the numbers mean even less if production is there. And, to be fair, Patty is on pace for 25 goals this season. But, this being my first time looking at any sort of advanced analytics in depth has caused me to question my understanding of standard production measures. People are too quick to call out a player without looking at the other circumstances surrounding why that player is playing the way they are. And just by a very quick check of Marleau’s numbers (because they don’t pay me enough to figure everything out) I’m currently erring on the side of the players around him aren’t doing him many favors, which could be a result of playing with new acquisitions (Joel Ward) or young guys (Donskoi, Hertl, etc.) which could cause a lack of chemistry and prevent consistent, meaningful offensive pressure, leading to less shots and more defensive zone time. Or is it that Coach DeBoer’s system doesn’t fit Patty’s style. Or is Patty himself the liability? Further investigation is definitely warranted.
On the flip side, when Joe Thornton is on the ice, the team is shooting at +164, no doubt due to:
1. Being on the first line.
2. His shot creation ability.
3. Tons of PP time.
Thornton has spent some time with newer, younger guys like Donskoi (from time to time), but his GOAT passing ability and consistent pairing with Pavelski would far outweigh any drop in production caused by a lack of line chemistry with a 3rd Forward.
Oh hey, I mentioned power plays: did you know the Sharks are 3rd in the league at 22.1%? They’ve scored 37 goals with man advantages, which accounts for 25% of their goals this year. And how!
I didn’t go to school for math, so I’m going to stop with the numbers before I look even more stupid.  I also didn’t go to school for writing, so we’ll consider this week’s article finished. This past week, the Sharks lost to the Ducks (barely), destroyed the Blues, and then didn’t even bother showing up for a game against the Predators. Seriously, that game was over after the first period even though they were down by 1. Hopefully a few days of rest gets their heads back on straight. This week the Sharks continue their tour of the Central division by playing the Blackhawks in Chicago before returning home to take on the Flames and #DesertDogs.
PWR is back, bitches. Unfortunately, I’m sick this week, so this recap is going to be a little short. Don’t worry y’all, next week will be War and Peace length.
[If this next bit looks the same, that’s because it is. Pacific War Room started a week later than we were planning.]
Here’s a quick season recap for those of you who ignored us because, well, we weren’t doing much until very recently:
If you’ve missed the first half of the Sharks’ season, don’t worry. You didn’t miss much. Gone are your father’s Sharks. The current iteration of this team likes to play bad hockey and not win. A lot. To summarize the season thus far:
1. We finally have a captain, Joe Pavelski. Really, he should have been given it last year, but w/e, last year was last year. We’re still not bitter. No one is mad still and thinks the franchise is fucking its own face. No one thinks that.
2. Raffi Torres got another suspension and has yet to play a game this season (Surprise).
3. This team likes to be streaky. This includes several 5+ game losing streaks along with an 8 game winning streak. But mostly losing streaks.
4. They don’t like to win at home. Probably because our new goal song this year is utter shite:
Inside the Tank, it sounds like this:
Yes, we know it sucks. Yes, steps are being taken to fix it.
5. There is none scoring depth outside of the top two lines.
6. Martin Jones was a fantastic pick up for this team. Too bad we’re wasting his great play by not scoring goals.
So it’s been a tough first year for new head coach and Canadian Louis C.K. impersonator Peter DeBoer. He’s done some ok things with lines and playing style, like getting rid of Joe Thornton’s infuriating drop passes during offensive rushes. He’s even tackled the mindset of the team by doing little things like moving home game morning skates to the practice facility, rather than SAP Center to change how the boys view playing at home. However, injuries to big producers like Logan Couture and severe regressions and mid-season slumps for early producers like Tomas Hertl, Joel Ward, and Patrick Marleau haven’t helped the team much.
So that was the Jonathan Quick & Dirty of the Sharks’ season; here’s what they’ve been up to more recently:
[Here’s the new stuff:]
Though the current standings paint a much better picture of the team compared to what was described, note that the ascension up the Pacific Division standings has only happened recently, due to the idea that maybe we should start playing real hockey. The Sharks are surging after a lackluster first 2/5ths of the season. Rookie Finnish product Joonas Donskoi, Captain Joe Pavelski, and Jumbo Joe “I’ll whip my cock out if I score 4 goals” Thornton have been producing like early 20th century child labor: All the time. As of Sunday night, the Sharks have 16 out of a possible 18 points for their last 9 games. Nearly every single player off the team is off the schniede. They’ve figured out how to not blow leads and instead are blowing loads all over other teams’ faces. With that stunning visual in mind, let’s recap what faces got a special sauce drenching this week:
4-3 (SO) Loss at home against OTTAWA
Ok, so maybe not every single team they face gets a load dropped on them, but this game was edging close to that kind of finish. If it weren’t for the latest edition of “Stalocking” the Sharks could have won this game. See Exhibit A
He does this at least once a game. Hey Alex, I wonder why you’re still a back up. Add in a few bad choices in the shootout, and you have the Sharks ending their 5 game winning streak. They still get a point though, and continue to climb the Pacific Division standings. Unfortunately, Alex Stalock is still with the team.
3-1 Win at ARIZONA
I don’t remember this game very well. I was playing the Randy Hahn #DesertDogs drinking game. We scored two goals in the first ten minutes and I spent the remainder of the game picking myself up off the floor. The Sharks improved to 16-6-2 on the road and are working with the NHL to move the remainder of their home games to road locations so maybe they can continue to win.
4-3 Win at home against MINNESOTA
One of the most exciting games this year, the Wild and Sharks went back and forth all game long. Luckily, Captain Joe Pavelski is clutch
After this game, Joe Thornton is on an 8 game point streak, as are the Sharks. Illuminati confirmed. Can’t talk much more about the game, since we have another the next night against the Kings.
3-2(OT) Loss at home against Los Angeles
I hate the Kings.
To this point in the season, the road team in this series has won each game. I hate the Kings. So, naturally, following some of their best hockey of the season, the Sharks face the Kings in San Jose to end that streak. I hate the Kings. Of course, the Sharks decided they wanted to win the game, so we started Martin Jones on the second night of a back to back to avoid Stalocking the game away. I hate the Kings. I use this graphic a lot to illustrate my points, but it bears repeating why we hate Alex Stalock:
I hate the Kings. As you can see, he has trouble stopping the puck, on account of all of the possible holes for skaters to shoot the puck through. I hate the Kings. So, Peter DeBoer has no choice but to give Jonesy a heavier workload this week to close in on the Kings and 1st place in the Pacific Division. I hate the Kings.
If you’re a Kings fan, you know how this game went. I hate the Kings. If you’re not a Kings fan:
All in all, it was close, not dirty, and good hockey all night long. The OT period was quite possibly the most exciting one I’ve seen all season long.
The loss sees San Jose finish at 54 points and second place in the Pacific, with a game in hand on LA.
Looking ahead, the Sharks face the Avalanche on Tuesday before Captain Joe Pavelski and Modern Day Caveman Brent Burns head to Nashville to play in a ridiculous 3v3 tourney with the NHL’s best. But hey, at least they let John Scott play. Praise be unto HIM:
Base photo credit to JD397 on reddit.com/r/hockey. I added in other stuff.
If you’ve missed the first half of the Sharks’ season, don’t worry. You didn’t miss much. Gone are your father’s Sharks. The current iteration of this team likes to play bad hockey and not win. A lot. To summarize the season thus far:
1. We finally have a captain, Joe Pavelski. Really, he should have been given it last year, but w/e, last year was last year. We’re still not bitter. No one is mad still and thinks the franchise is fucking its own face. No one thinks that.
2. Raffi Torres got another suspension and has yet to play a game this season (Surprise).
3. This team likes to be streaky. This includes several 5+ game losing streaks along with an 8 game winning streak.
4. They don’t like to win at home. Probably because our new goal song this year is utter shite:
Inside the Tank, it sounds like this:
Yes, we know it sucks. Yes, steps are being taken to fix it.
5. There is none scoring depth outside of the top two lines.
6. Martin Jones was a fantastic pick up for this team. Too bad we’re wasting his great play by not scoring goals.
So it’s been a tough first year for new head coach and Canadian Louis C.K. impersonator Peter DeBoer. He’s done some ok things with lines and playing style, like getting rid of Joe Thornton’s infuriating drop passes during offensive rushes. He’s even tackled the mindset of the team by doing little things like moving home game morning skates to the practice facility, rather than SAP Center to change how the boys view playing at home. However, injuries to big producers like Logan Couture and severe regressions and mid-season slumps for players like Tomas Hertl, Joel Ward, and Patrick Marleau haven’t helped the team much. Though the current standings paint a much better picture of the team compared to what was described, note that the ascension up the Pacific Division standings has only happened recently, due to the idea that maybe we should start playing real hockey.
So that was the Jonathan Quick & Dirty of the Sharks’ season; here’s what they’ve been up to more recently:
WEEK 16
5-4 Win in Calgary
Following up their 7-0 thrashing of the Toronto Maple Leafs, the Sharks headed to Calgary and continued to be oddly good at hockey. Big games from Thornton and Wookie Brent Burns elevated the Sharks to their 20th win of the season and 14th on the road. I said this team had problems at home, but you probably didn’t think they were that bad. The fortress that was the Shark Tank has turned into a fish in a barrel situation for opposing teams. No wonder attendance is so down:
7 Sellouts in 21 games (As of 1/17/16) is terrible by this club’s standard and not the greatest way to kick off our 25th anniversary. And look at that graph again. No one has gone to games 21-41. Not a single person. Does this spell doom for the Sharks franchise? It doesn’t, but it sure does sound like a good Twitter headline to get some clicks.
In other good news from this game, Logan Couture scored his first goal of the season after coming back from Tomas Hertl falling on and breaking Cooch’s leg in practice in October. Though the game was back and forth, the team showed resilience in its ability to not completely implode.
Oh yeah, they won this game by only taking 18 SOG. That’s a 27.8% conversion rate. Sweet.
4-1 Win in Winnipeg
The Sharks lost at home to Winnipeg 1-4 only 10 days ago, so it’s only fair that this game ended with a flipped score in Manitoba. It was actually a very close game until about 6 minutes to go in the 3rd period, with the Sharks up 2-1, when Jets’ Tyler Myers cross checked Wimmy Tongles and was rewarded with a game misconduct, 5 minute major, and a $5,000 fine.
Things got even worse for Winnipeg after Blake Wheeler tripped the slice of Swiss cheese that started the game (backup goalie Alex Stalock) while trying to land a shortie to tie the game (WARNING: Jamie Baker orgasm noises are present in the second half of the video):
If nothing else, at least Winnipeg fans are really good at unison cheers directed at officials.
With 2 full minutes of 5-on-3, Joe Pavelski nabbed one of the sweetest goals from the bottom of the circle:
The Sharks finished off with an empty netter to seal it 4-1. It was a good effort from the boys and completed a sweep on this two game, back-to-back Western Canada swing. It also extended their winning streak to 3 as they head home to face Todd McClellan for the first time at SAP Center since he joined Edmonton.
2-1 (SO) Win against Edmonton
Listen to this for this recap section:
Now sing along:
Sharks shootout in game at home
Watch them deke it
Watch them score
Watch them finally win
4 games in a row
Now watch me watch JOOO-
(-Nas Donskoi)
JOOO-
(-Nas Donskoi)
Also, Raffi Torres finished his suspension and will rehab with our AHL affiliate:
4-3 (OT) Win against Dallas
So I was at this game. Which means I didn’t get a good look at it from my not couch and not DVR, but let me tell you what happened.
First period: Crap.
Second Period: Crap.
Third Period: HOLY SHIT
OT: “Fun must be always”
Most of the goals scored on the Sharks were poor defensive breakdowns, especially a rather egregious error from Defenseman Marc-Edouard Vlasic right in front of Martin Jones to leave the net minder high and dry. Luckily, Vlasic channeled his inner Brent Burns and finished the night with 2 goals and the assist on Hertl’s OT winner. This makes 3 wins in a row at home and 5 overall. They continue the home stretch with Ottawa coming to town Monday, which has Sharks fans clamoring for
Maybe things aren’t so bad after all?
The Sharks now sit 3rd in the Pacific with 48 points, with 1 game in hand on both Arizona and LA.
EDITORIAL: The NHL can choke on a dick:
John Scott was previously asked by both NHL and Arizona Coyotes to bow out of NHL All-Star Game. He refused. Trade likely takes care of that
Hoser Corp 